Writing the Recipient
As a donor family, you may decide to write a letter to the recipients of your loved one's organs. This is a personal decision, and you should not feel any pressure to act in one way or another. Sometimes, donor families choose to write to recipients to share information about their loved one and the decision to donate. For some families, sharing helps them with the grieving process. There is no time limit for sending a letter, and you may write at any time. Many choose to send a letter during the holidays, or an anniversary card. Others opt to send a "Thinking of You" card instead. Sometimes the hardest part is writing those first few words. If you want to write but are having trouble or need more information about writing to recipients, please don't hesitate to call our office at 210.614.7030.
If you decide to write, here are some suggestions and guidelines:
- Only include information you are comfortable with sharing about yourself and your loved one. This may include occupation, hobbies, interests, or special things your loved one enjoyed.
- You may want to briefly explain the circumstances that led to your loved one becoming a donor and how you made the decision to donate. You can also include how this decision has impacted you, your family, and your community.
- Please be advised that including your last name, phone number, email address, social media profiles or any other identifying information details in your letter may invite the recipient and/or their family to know your identity and lead them to reach out to you directly. TOSA will send you a consent form to acknowledge you are willingly submitting your identifying information in the possibility of being contacted by your loved one's recipient(s).
Other things to consider:
-Use simple language.
-If there is more than one recipient, you may choose to write separate letters or use the same letter for all recipients.
- Be thoughtful when using spiritual comments since the religion of the recipient(s) is unknown.
After you have completed your correspondence:
1. Place the letter or card in an unsealed envelope.
2. Include a separate sheet of paper with your full name, your loved one's full name, date of donation, and your contact information.
Mail to:
Donor Family Services
Texas Organ Sharing Alliance
5051 Hamilton Wolfe Rd.
San Antonio, TX 78229-4455
You may also email correspondence to dfservices@tosa1.org.
Once your correspondence is received, a Donor Family Services Coordinator will forward the correspondence to the recipient's transplant center, where it may be reviewed by their social worker, and forwarded to the recipient. Although we strive to complete this task quickly, this entire process may take several weeks before the letter reaches the recipient.
Will I hear from the recipients?
Keep in mind some recipients may send a response to your letter while others may not write back. This is their personal decision that could be made for various reasons. Many recipients state they feel overwhelmed with emotion and have difficulty expressing their gratitude in a letter, while others are continuing to heal and adjusting to their new lives as a transplant recipient. Most recipients have said that writing to their donor family is the most difficult thing they have ever done. Even if you never receive a letter, we hope you will take comfort in knowing that your loved one's gift has helped others.
Will I ever be able to meet the transplant recipients?
Contact between donor family members and recipients and their families has been reported to be a fulfilling experience for all parties. However, before initiating such contact, both the donor family and the recipient should take time to explore their feelings regarding direct contact.